Old vs New

Little did I know that that trip would be one to completely change my life. God took young and shy me, placed me in foreign culture and worked through and in me. I came home a different person. Sure I'm still pretty shy, but my life purpose is changed. My heart is still there. I don't know how to explain it. The Park West team's hearts were in Guatemala and Allie's was in Ecuador.

 Mine is in Juarez. It's with Abilene who is now probably 10 years old from Centro Victoria girl's home the one I played with on the playground. With Niellie who is 9 from Pastor Pacienca's church who only spoke to me and found me the following year. With sweet baby Kayla now 6 from Centro Victoria where her mom lives. With Michelle, now 7, from a dangerous part of town who begged me to go to home with her. It's with Christoph, Marcella, Nancy, Joel, Lisbeth, Karen, Yari, Jeniffer, Bella, Barissa, Chris, Kevin, Omar, Allan and every child that I talked to.

I don't understand it. I talked to these kids for only a brief amount of time and already I knew they were my mine. There faces are imprinted on my heart and I can picture them perfectly.

You have to understand. My total time in Juarez between both trips was only 10 days. The time with the kids was even less. But sometimes I miss them so much that it physically hurts. Everything will be fine and dandy and then BAM! One of those faces pops up and the longing returns. I need to know that they are okay. Google search Juarez, Mexico. Murder Capitol of the World. Read the news. That's where these kids are. That's where my heart is.

I don't know why God chose me for the task of preaching His love to the children of the world. And as much as I'm apprehensive of the unknown future, I'm honored that He did. He's entrusting me with something pretty special. I don't know where I'm ultimately going to end up. I don't know how I'm going to get there or what I'm going to do where ever I end up...But I'm ready. I'm really ready. It's an incredible, terrifying, exciting, overwhelming, fulfilling feeling. Here I am, Lord send me. 

"If God chooses you to be a missionary, don't stoop to become a king."

I know that I'm pretty much writing to myself, but I gotta write things down somewhere so why not here? Tonight I found my prayer journal from my first ever mission trip to Juarez when I was just 13. I'm gonna copy it down here.

 The Time is Now

Jonathan Haward

President and founder of Global Infusion

     Have you ever said to yourself, "I wish I had done that"? Many people live their lives with much regret. Every so often, they turn around and look back on the days, weeks, months, and even years of their past, and see missed opportunities. Sometimes we become so consumed with our won worries and fears that we fail to take advantage of an amazing opportunity that God has placed before us.

     When I read the Gospels, I notice that Jesus always made something happen now. When the Father revealed His will about a certain situation, Jesus acted immediately. As a result, many people were healed, delivered, and ultimately saved from their sin. The ten lepers did not need Jesus' help later, they needed Him   now. The woman about to be stoned for adultery did not need Jesus to intervene later, she needed Him now. The Disciples did not need Jesus to calm the seas later, they needed Him now. The five thousand followers did not need Jesus to feed them later, they needed Him now. The world did not need Jesus to postpone His death and resurrection, we needed Him now. 

     Very few Christians make the decision to put their personal challenges in life aside temporarily to go out into all the world and share the Gospel. Most would prefer to do it later. The problem with this thinking is two-fold: one, this issues of life will never leave us until we are in eternity forever; two, the world does not need to hear about the saving power of God later, they need to hear now. 

     Think about acting on every opportunity God presents to you without question. Let the Holy Spirit guide you in each decision; heed His wisdom, and take action. While you are on the mission field, take the time to speak to the one person that you feel God leading you to. Take the time to strategically pray over the city you are in, so that the spiritual atmosphere charges. Encourage your brothers and sisters in Christ who live permanently in that nation, with words that will cause their faith to soar. And when you return home, do not forget what you learned on the mission field. The same God of your mission trip will be with you at home to face and conquer your personal challenges. But much more than that, continue to be sensitive to His voice when in the middle of life at its busiest, He brings to your mind the sames, faces, and scenes that were burned into your heart from mission field. The world needs us to pray for them. The world needs us to go to them. The would needs us to return to them. The would needs Jesus. Not later, now. 

After that, my 13 year old self wrote: 

      "God, please help me to clear my life of regrets. The past cant be changed, only the future can be. Please, work through me and in so that we preach the message of Jesus, so hat the people here in Juarez might hear and believe. I understand that they need help now instead of later. Please stay with our mission team so that not our will but yours be done on this short trip. Help me to get over my shyness so that I can preform more efficiently doing your work. Also, please let some of my old Spanish come back to me so that I too may communicate with the locals and children at VBS. Thank you for this opportunity to serve and thank you for my wonderful church, friends, and family that helped to make this trip possible for me. Amen."