Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Haiti!

In 38 days I will be in Haiti! :O

It's coming so fast and I'm both excited and nervous for this! :)

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Prayer

Be careful what you pray for.

A couple years ago I prayed for God make me do more than go through the motions. I prayed for Him to break my heart for what breaks His.

And He did.

He placed a huge burden on my heart for the orphan, the widow, the homeless...the least of these.
Now everyday that I sit at home the burden grows deeper and stronger. I have to get out and serve these people in the name of Christ. It's gotten to the point where there is a physical feeling of anxiousness in my stomach.

So as I narrow my search results from 600+ places to serve down to 20 I pray for discernment in where He wants me to go.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Old vs New


Little did I know that that trip would be one to completely change my life. God took young and shy me, placed me in foreign culture and worked through and in me. I came home a different person. Sure I'm still pretty shy, but my life purpose is changed. My heart is still there. I don't know how to explain it. The Park West team's hearts were in Guatemala and Allie's was in Ecuador.

 Mine is in Juarez. It's with Abilene who is now probably 10 years old from Centro Victoria girl's home the one I played with on the playground. With Niellie who is 9 from Pastor Pacienca's church who only spoke to me and found me the following year. With sweet baby Kayla now 6 from Centro Victoria where her mom lives. With Michelle, now 7, from a dangerous part of town who begged me to go to home with her. It's with Christoph, Marcella, Nancy, Joel, Lisbeth, Karen, Yari, Jeniffer, Bella, Barissa, Chris, Kevin, Omar, Allan and every child that I talked to.

I don't understand it. I talked to these kids for only a brief amount of time and already I knew they were my mine. There faces are imprinted on my heart and I can picture them perfectly.

You have to understand. My total time in Juarez between both trips was only 10 days. The time with the kids was even less. But sometimes I miss them so much that it physically hurts. Everything will be fine and dandy and then BAM! One of those faces pops up and the longing returns. I need to know that they are okay. Google search Juarez, Mexico. Murder Capitol of the World. Read the news. That's where these kids are. That's where my heart is.

I don't know why God chose me for the task of preaching His love to the children of the world. And as much as I'm apprehensive of the unknown future, I'm honored that He did. He's entrusting me with something pretty special. I don't know where I'm ultimately going to end up. I don't know how I'm going to get there or what I'm going to do where ever I end up...But I'm ready. I'm really ready. It's an incredible, terrifying, exciting, overwhelming, fulfilling feeling. Here I am, Lord send me. 

"If God chooses you to be a missionary, don't stoop to become a king."
I know that I'm pretty much writing to myself, but I gotta write things down somewhere so why not here? Tonight I found my prayer journal from my first ever mission trip to Juarez when I was just 13. I'm gonna copy it down here.

 The Time is Now
Jonathan Haward
President and founder of Global Infusion

     Have you ever said to yourself, "I wish I had done that"? Many people live their lives with much regret. Every so often, they turn around and look back on the days, weeks, months, and even years of their past, and see missed opportunities. Sometimes we become so consumed with our won worries and fears that we fail to take advantage of an amazing opportunity that God has placed before us.

     When I read the Gospels, I notice that Jesus always made something happen now. When the Father revealed His will about a certain situation, Jesus acted immediately. As a result, many people were healed, delivered, and ultimately saved from their sin. The ten lepers did not need Jesus' help later, they needed Him   now. The woman about to be stoned for adultery did not need Jesus to intervene later, she needed Him now. The Disciples did not need Jesus to calm the seas later, they needed Him now. The five thousand followers did not need Jesus to feed them later, they needed Him now. The world did not need Jesus to postpone His death and resurrection, we needed Him now. 

     Very few Christians make the decision to put their personal challenges in life aside temporarily to go out into all the world and share the Gospel. Most would prefer to do it later. The problem with this thinking is two-fold: one, this issues of life will never leave us until we are in eternity forever; two, the world does not need to hear about the saving power of God later, they need to hear now. 

     Think about acting on every opportunity God presents to you without question. Let the Holy Spirit guide you in each decision; heed His wisdom, and take action. While you are on the mission field, take the time to speak to the one person that you feel God leading you to. Take the time to strategically pray over the city you are in, so that the spiritual atmosphere charges. Encourage your brothers and sisters in Christ who live permanently in that nation, with words that will cause their faith to soar. And when you return home, do not forget what you learned on the mission field. The same God of your mission trip will be with you at home to face and conquer your personal challenges. But much more than that, continue to be sensitive to His voice when in the middle of life at its busiest, He brings to your mind the sames, faces, and scenes that were burned into your heart from mission field. The world needs us to pray for them. The world needs us to go to them. The would needs us to return to them. The would needs Jesus. Not later, now. 



After that, my 13 year old self wrote: 
      "God, please help me to clear my life of regrets. The past cant be changed, only the future can be. Please, work through me and in so that we preach the message of Jesus, so hat the people here in Juarez might hear and believe. I understand that they need help now instead of later. Please stay with our mission team so that not our will but yours be done on this short trip. Help me to get over my shyness so that I can preform more efficiently doing your work. Also, please let some of my old Spanish come back to me so that I too may communicate with the locals and children at VBS. Thank you for this opportunity to serve and thank you for my wonderful church, friends, and family that helped to make this trip possible for me. Amen."



Saturday, June 30, 2012

Ecuador Day Ten - Tuesday

     After staying up super late on Monday night we all retired back to our rooms to make sure everything was completely packed. We did a sweep of the room to make sure nothing was forgotten and either slept or rested until it was time to go.

      Really early in the morning (3ish maybe?) we had to be up. We brought all our luggage out in front of the kitchen where it was loaded on to a bus by the driver. Our final goodbyes were to Anna, who we all loved, and the guard dog Bolt. (Bolt followed us everywhere and was truly loved by most of us). The bus ride was bittersweet. Unlike when we arrived we knew the roads we were taking. We knew some of the houses we were passing. We were leaving a piece of our heart there in CalaCali.

     I remember standing in line to check our bags and then standing in an even bigger line to start through security check points. On the plane we settled in for the first flight. I remember talking to Allie and bit and laughing with her over pointless stuff, probably inbetween sleeping. That basically means it was a good flight.When we got off that flight we were back in the United States. And let me tell you, right when you step our of the plane you can feel the attitude difference. It's a whole different atmosphere. It's hard to explain. Anyway, being back on US soil meant everyone's favorite things, customs. It was the same exact customs line that I went through coming back from Guatemala.

     From that line we found out that we had a pretty far hike to our next flight which was leaving reallyreally soon. Like minutes soon. A few of us literally ran to the gate which was already empty. The lady at the desk asked who we were and so we explained that we had a group coming through customs. She was really nice, but informed us that if the group wasn't there in exactly 3 minutes they would have to close the doors and leave without us. She suggested those that we were there to get on without them, but we quickly shut that down. We do things as team even if that meant missing a flight. Luckily everyone got there right as they were about to close. We were the last ones on, but we were on. I don't really remember that flight at the moment except for a rude flight attendant throwing our stuff around.

    Off of that flight now, we were in the JFK airport (I think?) and since we were actually leaving the airport we had to go through a different customs thing. Or maybe that was before, I don't know. But we had to individually talk to some guy and say that we really were who our passports said we were. Through there we were greeted by a professor that came to drive us home in a PBU van. Then we went to get our luggage. We found our carousel and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally we went over to the desk and asked if they could locate it. It turned out that customs and almost missing our flight made our bags miss the flight. They would be there for at least an hour or two. We debated between having just delivered to us or waiting and finally decided to just wait it out. The food court was near by so we all went there and got some good pizza or Mexican food because that's all that was still open that late at night. The team made the most of our extra hour together. (:

    Finally our bags arrived and we smushed back into a PBU van where we all promptly fell asleep. We attempted to talk to the professor, but we were just too exhausted. Back at the school, all the families were waiting. We had to say goodbye to one family to go with the other. The team had done so much together that we were like a band of siblings. It was definitely bittersweet.

    The next day was the first day of classes. That's right, no break for us! We were throw right into a new routine of schooling.Talk about reverse culture shock. It was kinda hard to assimilate ourselves. The day before we were in a completely different country, a completely different culture.

Since then we had 2 reunion dinners and we presented our trip to the school in a chapel. But it's not the same and everyone wasn't there. Because we were just thrown right back into life I feel like I had no time to really just reflect on the trip. Every time I see a team member I get excited because we have a unique bond, but ultimately it's all different. Once again, new people have taken a chunk of my heart.

Our group update page:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/257699264289961/]

Ecuador Day Nine- Monday

    So... I just realized that it's been like almost six months since Ecuador and I never finished by blog...I should do that so that someday I look back and actually remember.

      Monday, sadly, was our last day in the beautiful CalaCali. When everyone got up we gathered in the guys room to sign the cards that we had made for the El Refugio staff. It was fun just being together, talking, and reflecting before starting our day. I'm not positive, but I think we had orejitas again for breakfast. From there we headed out to the garage building to finish up our work there. We did a bunch of touch ups on the boards and tried to get as many T-nuts in as we could. We talked of course as we worked and soon enough it was time for lunch.

       After our final lunch Paul took the group up into the woods a bit to this tree house. It was an epic treehouse at that too because there was a bridge, 3 towers, hammocks, etc. While we were there we reflected both individually and as a group about our stay in Ecuador. It was really touching to hear some of what the team said and I cried a little bit, but didn't speak up. When we were finished there Susie, a PBU missionary person, came with her husband Glenn. She works in another city of Ecuador called Cayumbe. She talked to us about what she does and where her ministry is going.We had a good time talking to them.

    When they left we were supposed to take the afternoon to wind down and pack, but that didn't really seem right to us. We didn't need a whole afternoon and night to pack. A group of us decided to go finish the boards that we didn't get done in the garage, but by the time we got back the garage was all cleaned up. It was kinda disappointing because we weren't able to completely finish our project and mere hours after we were done, the garage moved on. We didn't let it faze us though so Harry, Mary, Bren, Christian, and I went back up to the Islands game. We were determined to make it through. We chose to keep the same rules of no talking and got through successfully in 9 min 25 sec! WOOO!      

From there we walked out of the woods to the rock climbing wall that our boards would soon be apart of. Everyone climbed up pretty high and I stayed about half way down from them to take pictures. It started to drizzle so we climbed down and went to the volleyball field where someone had left out a ball. By this time it had started to rain - like inbetween a drizzle and pour- so naturally we decided to play. It was Christian and Harry against Mary, Bren, and I. It was hard to even see through the rain (thanks to my glasses) but still super fun.

        From there we went back to the chapel tucked in the woods to make dinner over the fire. There was a special treat for us there too... guinea pig! It is considered sort of a specialty mean in Ecuador. So I've had like a bunch of guinea pigs as pets so it was kinda awkward to see a roasted one, head attached, sitting there with its mouth open. But I was in Ecuador so I tried just a tiny bit. Tasted kinda like pork if you ask me. The none guinea pig eaters roasted hot dogs and everyone had marshmallows. Esteban, Santi, Wilmar, and Jhonotan came to hang out as well. We talked, debriefed, and presented our final gifts to each other each with a special meaning. Mine came from Campbell-Farrell and it was super sweet and her speech made me teary.

       Then we had to say goodbye...Everyone hugged and hugged some more. Allie started crying and then I started crying. Some of the guys told me not to cry, but I really couldn't help it. I hate leaving. I hate saying goodbye. Jhonotan gave me a glow in the dark bracelet that says Ecuador on it (I think he got it from a past team or something) as a goodbye present and for being friends so I of course cried more. I wear it all the time as a reminder of Ecuador. Plus it glows. After we finished crying and everyone left and was mostly packed we went over to La Casa Grande and hung out for a long while.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Ecuador Day Eight -- Sunday

"Some people are so poor that the only thing they have is money."

"God's love is meteoric, His loyalty astronomic, His purpose titanic, His verdict oceanic. Yet in His largeness, nothing gets lost; not a man, not a mouse, slips through the cracks." -Psalm 36:5-6

Today was a super long day filled with awesome fellowship...

Everyone that went on the perimeter hike had to leave at 5 o'clock sharp. I knew that there was no way my lungs could make it. So instead, I woke up at the same time as them and went to sit outside in the quiet looking at the llamas and garden. Just soaking in the beauty. (It reminds me of a quote: "In hopes of reaching the moon, men fail to see the flowers at their feet.") All the hikers got back just in time for breakfast. Bren and Mary said that it was really tough, but super worth it. They could see the snow capped glacier from the top. If I ever get the chance to come back to El Refugio I'm forcing my lungs up there to see it all.


Breakfast this morning was egg and toast (I think). Right after eating, the Manada Pequeñas had to go home so that they could get ready for church. While we were all getting ourselves ready Erica came into the girls' room with a balloon. She wanted to know if any of us knew how to make a balloon dog. It is apparently Anita's daughter's 5th birthday and they were have a mini-fiesta for her. I volunteered, loving that I could use what I leaned in Juarez here. I made a few dogs and gave my regular balloons so that everyone could decorate them. We did this until we were ready to leave for church.


All the staff and us walked in to the middle of CalaCalí to the Santos brothers' church. It was a regular looking building, (with really pretty purple flowers) and it was about the size of one the churches I went to in Mexico. We sang about 5 or 6 Spanish praise songs. For some reason I always feel the Spirit more in Spanish even if I don't understand word for word. People clap, raise their hands, dance, fist pump, etc it's completely genuine and amazing. We sang a song called Tomaló which means "Take it all." We scream, "Te doy todo lo que soy...Toma, tomaló!" which means "I give you everything I am. Take it, take it all." After we sang a couple more songs, a couple from the church sang two beautiful songs with awesome harmony. The pastor then gave the sermon entirely in Spanish. The only reason I could follow a little bit was because we read a lot from the Bible. In this church everyone looks up the verse. When you find it, you stand up so the pastor knows when everyone's ready.


After church I quick changed and our team and the Manada Pequeñas headed over to the square where there is another "Midad del Mundo/ Center of the World" monument. We took pictures there and learned that this is the original one, but they moved it to where we went because of tourists. The realreal center is somewhere in the mountains though. From there we loaded onto a nice bus so that we could head into Quito. I sat behind Cristian and Wilmar and next to Kat. We got a lunch on the go of ham and cheese, an orange, a Sunny D like drink, and yummy coconut cookies. Esteban, who studied to be a tour guide, went up to the front of the bus and told us about everything we were passing, about CalaCali, about Quito, and about Ecuador as a whole. Israel translated for him. We also learned a bunch of fun legends. We learned about how CalaCalí got its name, a whole bunch of history, and some stories about how mountains got their names. One was about a jealous guy mountain wanting a girl mountain. Mary asked how you can tell if a mountain is a girl or boy. Apparently, if a mtn. has a crescent shape at the top it is a girl. Our response- "Uhh...Well, sure. That makes sense."


Eventually we arrived at the Basilica. The Basilica is the oldest Gothic style church standing. It was legit beautiful. Courtesy of Esteban, we learned some of the history of the church, the carvings, etc. One interesting fact is that the Basilica has been under construction for hundreds of years. They say that the because of this, the year that all construction is finished the world will end. Anyways...we finally got our tickets and headed in and up the seemingly never ending stairs. There was a beautiful huge stained glass window, an organ from Paris, and an over hang thing. The overhang looked out over the cathedral which was amazing. The ceiling is super high and domed. When we were done in that 'room' we broke into groups to explore the rest of the place. I went up some stairs and went out onto a porch that looked over Quito. You could see houses and mountains for miles in all directions. Then Anna, Lydia, and I walked across this bridge type thing and up a ladder to one of the towers. Up there was super high again looking over Quito. We found Bren and Christian already checking everything out and more of the group soon joined us. A few people chose to go up a level higher but I was too afraid of the steep ladder. I got to go inside one of the clock towers, up some spiral steps, up a few ladders to the bell tower as well. On the way down Christian, Brenmarie, Anna, Lydia, and I all raced down to the first level (we only had like 5 minutes to our meetup time). So many steps. Haha, but the Basilica is a beautiful place with some amazing viewing places.


From the Basilica the group walked a few (quite a few actually) blocks to the Plaza de Central where there is the President's house. It was super crowded there and we could spot a few tourist groups as well. Esteban taught us some more legends about that area while a few local Ecuadorians stopped to listen. Harry then decided to make up his own legend about a nearby building. He made up a story about some brothers having a seaturtle farm inside the building. Lydia translated it for everyone. It was super funny especially because the local Ecuadorians that weren't with our group were listening intently as well. When the learning moments were over we went to the other side of the square where a band was playing some traditional music. Someone, I'm not sure who, decided that they should dance so most of the PBUers started doing the Electric Slide. Esteban, Wilmar, and Lydia joined in as well while I just videoed the whole thing. It didn't take long before everyone in the square had gathered around us to watch the white people dance. It was great and a few people actually asked us who were and what we were doing in Ecuador.




Then we walked up this one street called 'Calle de las Siete Cruces" or "Street of the Seven Crosses." The name is pretty self explanatory...Down this super long street is 7 giant crosses placed outside various awesome looking churches. Eventually we got to another more empty square which had the original stones in the ground. While there waiting for our bus a few young boys came along wanted to shine our shoes. Since it was only 50 cents a few people actually let them. Back on the bus everyone was pretty exhausted. Some people slept while a few of us continued to learn from Esteban. Him, Santi, Wilmar, and Cristian even sang us some Ecuadorian song for entertainment. We passed a few volcanoes with Kat and my favorite being Pululahua. (Just 'cause we couldn't remember or pronounce it.) When we got back into the center of CalaCalí the Manada Pequeñas had to get off to go home...This would be the last time we saw them. :( We didn't even get to get off to hug them so it was just a quick wave and adios and they were off. Super sad.


Back at El Refugio once again we had dinner of grilled chicken with ahi, pineapple, potato fries with cheese sauce, salad, kiwi, and passion fruit (which is super weird by the way). We also finally got introduced to the two cats there. I think we assumed that they were just 'there' but Israel introduced us to Sully and Pancho. Pancho was super shy, but Sully let us pet him. Tonight was Allie and Kat's turn for devotionals so first they sang some songs that Allie had written. Sadly, it started to rain so we had to move into the dining porch area, but it turned out good. Then we had communion together. There's like almost nothing that this team hasn't done together. <3 After that the team and Anna played this game called Telephone Pictionary. I won't go into details, but it was hilarious.


^I'm pretty sure we headed to bed after that, but I'm not positive.