Tuesday, September 30, 2008
*Sigh*
I am sad to say that the "it sucks" feeling Vale described is still with me. My heart is on fire for Jesus, Mexico, and anyone I encounter and yet Satan keeps finding ways two dampen it. He's having a party or something. Anyways, I've been trying to do ANY community outreach projects at church, but they are all shot down. I express concern about evangelizing and I "get in trouble." So yea, I have good days and bad, and on the bad days I'm frustrated and depressed. On Sunday when I was playing with Sarah and Sambu (two kids from Cambodia) I felt like I was on top of the world. Then someone tried to ruin it, but I didn't let them get to me and made the best of their time there. Mexico, Miami, memories, outreach, evangelism, kids, broken and needy people... the list of things running through my head goes on and on. To top it all off I am having a not so great school year. But again, I put on a happy face and try to make the most of the good days. I cant even talk face to face with my "accountability partner" and close friend because she lives so far. Yet, I can tell her close to anything because of that. I know I'm rambling but... I'm overwhelmed and well... bored. =] So yea friends in Miami, Georgia, Tulsa, Houston, Tennessee, etc. To far. Need a road trip. Pray please. =)
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Hello Kacie,
I think Vale was the one who talked to our group too before leaving... about the "it sucks" afterwards. Mine lasted quite a while, and I still REALLY miss Mexico--I don't feel the same on fire-passion now because I haven't been in so long. I remember the first day home I cried because I felt like I had to leave home... Mexico became a second home to me and I would have given anything to go back. I know that's how you feel... and I'll be praying for you.
I think it's completely awesome how full of compassion your heart is Kacie. You're ready to surrender and work hard to show others the love of God. He's given you a heart for missions and outreach, but maybe you're trying too hard at the moment... you're mind is restless and you feel like you're doing nothing (and I know that's not true), but maybe that's where God wants you at the moment. Maybe He wants you to learn from this in some way... He's given you a heart for missions, for kids, I believe He'll give you all the work you can handle in that area someday... but right now, maybe He just wants your mind right here on the now where He can use you in church, in school... so, take a step back, let it go to God. He knows your desires, He gave them to you... they're not going unnoticed.
Luv ya!
smithy (Sarah) ...the gal in GA... lol
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