Stop and Enjoy!

“Stop and enjoy!”

She yells it as I take in the chaos of the other children in the house running around the room screaming with the joy that comes with childhood.

“Stop and enjoy!”

She tells me as we work hard on learning her letters and shapes. I smile at her because her focus and speaking skills have grown so much in the time I’ve known her.

“Stop and enjoy!”

She whispers as I ask her to calm down her hyper self so we can read her favorite books while she lays in my lap.

“Stop and enjoy…”

I’m not quite sure that 8 year old A even really knows what that phrase means, (even though she uses it in a decent context) but that catchphrase of hers has stuck with me ever since she started using it a couple of months ago.

March and April have been crammed pack with fun, comfort-stretching, growth-making, hard but oh-so-good moments. Through it all, I’ve had handfuls of moments where I’ve had to listen to A’s voice in my head to just “stop and enjoy” what God is doing here in Haiti and in my life.

I stop and enjoy the beauty found in God’s creation in Haiti where the contrast between beauty and poverty sit side by side.

 

I stop and enjoy as I realize how many blessings come out of Bethesda Clinic, OMS’ clinic on our compound. So many people, including me and Susie, have benefited from its service. Dr. Rodney, the head doctor, strives to make sure that every patient receives quality physical care, but never leaves out sharing about Jesus!

These are my pneumonia free lungs (after 2 months of  it!)! :D

I stop and enjoy know that "my kids" know that they are loved by me and by God. 

I stop and enjoy chapel on Friday mornings with Cowman School as all of our student’s sing that they love Jesus “down deep in their hearts.” 

I stop and enjoy doing resurrection eggs with my fourth graders as we declare that Jesus is risen and sing that grace wins every time.

I stop and enjoy celebrating Easter away from family for the first time with friends that have become family.

I stop and enjoy the feeling of tiny hands playing with my hair at the Potter’s House or bigger hands styling my hair at school.

  

I stop and enjoy and marvel that this is my life and I am so blessed and content with it. In fact, here’s the exciting part…

I’ve just received word that I have officially been accepted with OMS as a longer term missionary! This means that I will get to, Lord willing, live and minister in Haiti for at least two more years! 😊

Stay tuned for ways you can help make this happen! 

Discombobulated Thoughts

Discombobulated Thoughts

      Hello! First of all, I apologize for the lack of posting in 2017 so far. Every time I would start to write, something would interrupt or my thoughts would jumble. I am also currently on my third round of antibiotics since New Year’s for what was/is some sort of respiratory/sinus infection that just might have been walking pneumonia. Please forgive me! J  We are now on spring break and this the first actual  “pause” I have taken since December. 

   So… I thought about writing about embracing the “messy” parts of life, like building cross-cultural friendships, working with kids from hard places, or navigating tough decisions about the future without having my mom close by.

     I thought about copying my housemate Susie’s idea on writing about the verse that states, “How beautiful are the feet of those who share the good news.” Because, you see these feet?

They are almost always dusty, peeling, and mosquito bitten, and a little bit sore. Beautiful is not the word I would use for them. (And yes, I know that’s not what the Bible literally meant).

     But finally, as I walked home from school hand-in-hand with a couple of my girlies, I decided I would show some pictures of things that have made me reflect on what love has looked like the past couple months.

      Love is freshly picked flowers from my students.

      Love is half-birthday celebrations.

Love is notes from my mom.

      Love is friends taking you to get food when your lazy.

      Love is a “Sign if you love your teacher!” board.

      Love is fourth grade completing 100 acts of kindness.

      Love is chocolate from a stranger for loving on her kids when she can’t.

      Love is having personal hairstylists almost every day.

      Love is “Have you had enough water today, Miss Kacie?”

      Love is school supplies from pen-pals.

      Love is a picture drawn of my and student with the words, “This is me and my teacher. I love her and I know she loves me.”

      Love is long talks and Hawaii 5-0 with housemates. (We need more pictures!)

     Love is “Kacie! Eske ou manje ak nou souple?” “Will you eat with us please?”

      Love is morning hugs.

      Love is students praying for me and each other.

      Love is a “pixie dust holder.”

      Love is handmade dresses from mom & grandma for the orphanage.

Love is a happy face on my sidewalk “because you love everything cute.”

Love is this:

A Year in Review

Though I am about a week late, I’d like to say “Happy New Year!” or in Creole, “Bon Ane!” While I was in the States over the holiday I had time to reflect on my 2016. I wanted to give myself a quick recap so I figured I could share it with you too!

         One of the first things I did in January 2016 was pass my teaching certification tests so I was officially certified to teach preschool through elementary and special education in the state of Pennsylvania! Since I graduated mid-December of 2015, it was awkward time to be looking for a job as a teacher. I wasn’t too fond of the idea of substituting, but I knew that was like gateway to a job so I was ready to apply! Instead, my care.com and sittercity profiles lead to 3 job offers! In the end, I started my first paid jobs as a substitute for Christian Life Academy and then as the lead infant teacher at Tabor Innovative Academy (TIA). This all happened by mid-January. Praise God!

         February- I was still working at TIA, but found out that the center would be closing for good in April. Yikes! Time to start looking again. At this time, I was still in contact with my people in Haiti who were praying for me to return the next school year.

         March- The director of TIA, and another co-worker, moved to another center and invited me to work there! So in mid-March I moved to Kiddie Academy of Langhorne as a lead 3 year old teacher! J (God really provided for me in the job department this year.)

         April- I finished applying to One Mission Society to return to Haiti and Cowman School the following the school year.

         May- OMS accepted me as a short-term missionary!

         June- Still working at Kiddie Academy & raising support.

"Miss Kacie, I made you this bunny because I am your tiger cub and I love you." This bunny is with me in Haiti now. 

         July- Travel to Greenwood, Indiana for CROSS training with OMS in order to be commissioned to the field in Haiti. I also get to travel to Florida with my family.

CROSS training friends

Day at Disney

                                     

         August- I taught 3 year olds at VBS, turned 23, was commissioned by my church, and moved to Haiti! J

         September- School at Cowman started smoothly (thanks Cairn professors) and I felt like an official teacher.

         October- We started off the month afraid that Hurricane Matthew would wreak havoc, but it missed the north! Hooray! Other than a stomach bug, it was a relaxing week.

         November- One day in early November it started to rain. In one night, 12 inches fell on Cap Haitian. We thought that might be it, but then it started again and didn’t stop for a week straight. I witnessed a natural disaster firsthand for the first time. When the rain stopped, they got to work restoring and rebuilding. In the midst of this, we gathered for Thanksgiving to remember our protection and His blessings.

         December- This was a busy month! Kids know when the holiday is coming and the class atmosphere was hectic and exciting. We had a class party, sadly sad “See you later” to a classmate moving to the States, and spend time focusing the advent story. We had a Christmas program at a beautiful church too! 

Then, I went to my Stateside home and spend the holiday with my family and my church which was all so so so wonderful!

My little sister is taller than me! 

Basically what this year in review shows me is that God has blessed me so much and has been so faithful. Bondye fidel! 

Not Enough

As I held one of my favorite toddlers in a long snuggle, a feeling foreign to me in Haiti crept its way into me—anxiety. Besides some moments of homesickness, I have not felt worried or anxious about too much here. Being flexible and patient with the slow pace here has helped a lot. So why now? I finally realized that I am nervous and anxious about going home. I am not ready to leave these children that I have come to know and love. For the past few days every time I hold a baby I worry that this will be the last time I get to cuddle with them. My time here is not enough for me and I get overwhelmed with this.

What if this is the last time I hear ______ yelling my name as he sees me coming down the path? My time is not enough.

What if I never get to see ________ and _______ sticking their lips out through the gate waiting for kisses again? My time is not enough.

I want to be there when _______ starts walking or when ______ finally can hold up her head. I want to see all of the babies healthy and all of the children with their forever families.

“When I am overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I” (Psalm 61:2) and because of this reality, I know that God had a reason for me to be here in these specific six weeks. I know that these babies will get along fine without me being here because they are loved by wonderful Haitian and international staff. Though the adoption process is slow right now, I am confident that God will not leave them as orphans (John 14) because He sets the lonely in families (Psalm 68). I am thankful for all of these things. I am thankful that He is more than enough.

As mentioned before, being here in Haiti for six weeks instead of just one has taught me many things. I have learned so much about having a constant biblical worldview, have changed my so-called “mission ideology,” and have witnessed firsthand how to really rely on God’s daily grace.  

Before coming to Haiti God taught me the important lesson that His way is the best way (Proverbs 19:21). I wanted to go to Africa or Asia—somewhere far away—for the first chunk of summer so that I’d be home in time for home’s VBS, my 21^st birthday, and school preparation. The way it turned out though is that God chose for me to go Haiti—just a short flight from Florida—during the last chunk of summer where I would ‘miss' all these things.

I thought I learned this lesson well, but still was making plans in my heart. I told myself that this trip is just to get my feet wet in an “orphanage” setting with a longer than normal time-frame. It would act has great experience, but Haiti was to be a one-time deal because I was probably going to settle somewhere close to where I student teach. Though the latter might still be possible, God once again broke my heart and filled it with love for Haiti, these kids, and COTP. If I fell in love with a kid after a week in Mexico, I must have been crazy to think I wouldn’t do the same with babies after 6 weeks with them! I’m not exactly sure if there is a future for me here, but I am definitely planning on visiting. If God saw fit, I’d definitely be open to considering Haiti for anything in my future.

Lots of prayers will be said in the upcoming week which starts with my 21^st birthday and ends with my homecoming. I will be praying that my anxiety is settled and that peace will cover my heart as I readjust to home and school. Many many many prayers will be said for the all of the children here and for their biological and forever families. Now I’ll also be praying for God to really direct my path because I know for certain that His will is where I want to be.

Though my time may feel like not enough to me, I know that my God is enough (2 Corinthians 12:9). So now I’ll strive to worship in the waiting—through the rest of my schooling—while He teaches me more and leads me to where He want me to be. J

Children Disguised as Statistics

If I gave you a list of statistics such as this:

     “There are children all over the world sick, starving, dying, unloved, and uncared for. The truth is that the 143 million orphaned children and the 11 million, who starve to death or die from preventable diseases, and the 8.6 million who work as child sales, prostitutes, or under other horrific conditions, and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million children.”

      It would seem overwhelming. Helping them would seem like an impossible task. But there’s a way to change that mindset. First of all, realize that you cannot save the world on your own-for it will be Jesus who does that. Second, realize that these are not just statistics and numbers. They are young children and babies with their own backgrounds, testimonies, and lives. I've had the privilege of getting to know some of these “statistics.” They happen to love being held, rocked, and talked to. Each has a personality that is so different from the rest. Please don’t think of “orphans” as a whole, but realize that every single “number” is a unique gift from God who is worth every oz. of love you can give them.

      In Haiti, I have already fallen in love with all the children. I can't wait to come home and tell everyone all about them. One of the preemies that I had the chance to cuddle often was healthy enough to go home with his papa. I love playing with the toddlers, making the babies smile, and being covered with the young children who climb up my legs for me to tickle them. In just a week and a half I seen the joy of watching babies go home with their families and have felt sorrow for the ones still waiting for a forever family. I do know this though; “God is a Father to the fatherless and a defender of widows…God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:5-6).

     “Though at first glance 164.8 million children look like a big number, 2.1 billion people on this earth proclaim to be Christians. The truth is that if only 8% of the Christians would care for just one more child, there would not be any statistic left. This is the truth and I have the freedom to believe it. The freedom, the opportunity to do something about it. The truth is that He loves these children just as much as He loves me and now that I know, I am responsible.”

So, how do you reach a world with 143 million orphans?

One at a time.